Unmet childhood needs often creates patterns to people please. We’re not bad or wrong for doing so; we’re still crying out for love and attention, care and understanding from others, it’s what we needed as a child.
We may have grown up physically, but the emotional part of us may still be 5, 4 or 3, sometimes even earlier, every situation is different.
The healing journey is not about becoming someone new, it’s about moving into the “emotional glue.” It’s about learning how to be our own loving parent and friend, it’s learning how to hold ourselves and listen within.
Those parts of us we abandoned just to get love and attention didn’t go away, they play out in our lives today. They are the ones who create our actions and the patterns we learned in order to feel safe when we were young.
Many of us are sensitive to energy, if someone is upset we take it personally. We think we did something wrong, this stems from when we were children.
Like I said, just because we’re in an adult body doesn’t mean it’s changed our conditioning. The ways we taught ourselves to be, we needed to our survival was at stake.
Now, you may be saying “Ok, I can change, I can make sure I no longer people please, I’m just going to focus on me.” Well, it may be that easy, but most of the time that creates incongruent energy if we’re not taking time to listen and embrace those parts of us who feel they “need” to do for others and neglect themselves.
This is deeply engrained and takes lots of compassion and unconditional love and listening.
It takes a willingness to look within and learn how to be our own loving parent and friend.
You may be saying “But Debra, I do that.” Yes, I understand and are you letting yourself be instead of judging and criticizing things you do and say? Are you letting yourself feel and comforting yourself when you’re afraid or do you get busy to get through the day.
Awareness is not about judgment, it is about softening and listening to what’s happening internally.
Awareness is about being and letting whatever arises to be held in unconditional acceptance and loving.
Instead of trying to change the critical voice, a better approach is to listen to why it’s afraid. To listen and understand what it needs in order for you to lovingly integrate.
Until we allow ourselves to see what’s going on internally, we’ll be running on subconscious programming and following to the dictates of our unresolved pain.
That unresolved pain makes us feel like we’re not good enough or not worthy of love. It makes us believe that we need to have more, do more, be more in order to be an acceptable human being.
No, no, no, you are beautiful as you are, even with your wounds and scars. You’re a divine creation, who you are is truly amazing.
The world will teach you differently, I’m here to tell you the truth that’s at the core of your BEing. Some of it is buried in the shadows, when we move into the shadows we often find the gold.
The parts of us that were told we were too loud, too sensitive, too much, etc. The parts of us that are authentically creative, the parts of us that are happy and knew how to enjoy life. There’s more to it but I think you get the gist.
Remember my loves, this journey is not about having everything perfect or not having challenges, it is about learning how to relate to ourselves and others with more compassion.
We all have wounds and unmet needs, we never know what someone is experiencing internally.
May this message be a message that opens your heart, may it be a way for you to see that you’re a beautiful, valuable and lovable expression of the divinity.
May you be kind and gentle with yourself as move through the healing process, which is really about embracing, loving and holding, experiencing a true home coming.
Sending you lots of LOVE today and always my beautiful and amazing soul family
If you would like support on your journey, I would love to help you in experiencing more peace, joy and unconditional LOVE.
