Have you ever felt depressed? I sure did, in fact for over 30 years I was walking around feeling like I was living in a dark cloud. I was “diagnosed” with depression as well as many other things like anorexia, schizophrenia, bi-polar, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, the list goes on and on. The doctors tried to medicate me in order to “cure” me and live in ways that fit into the “worldly standards.” I was put in numerous mental hospitals and treatment centers because of the ways that I was acting. The truth is that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, I was just disconnected from my true self and because of this I became anxious and I started acting out in fear, obsessions, addictions, confusion, in self destructive ways and I felt powerless to create the life that I truly desired.

I started to disconnect at an early age by trying to BE someone who others would accept and LOVE as my survival depended on it. When I was a child, whenever I expressed how I felt it was denied, ignored, made fun of or I was told that I was wrong for feeling or acting in the ways that I did. Eventually I totally shut down and started to believe that I was wrong for BEing me and it went even deeper into the idea that I didn’t deserve to live. This idea/belief that I didn’t deserve to live was the energy that became stuck in my body and started filtering and creating my life experiences such as the anorexia, depression, feeling powerlessness as well as many other symptoms.

Most of us aren’t aware of the energy that’s creating our symptoms, instead we try to “cure” or “fix” it with medication or surgery (if it’s an physical illness) or we push aside how we feel and just try to think better thoughts or we “numb out” by using substances such as food, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes etc. instead of going to the root cause. Hey, if you choose this, that’s okay, just know eventually you’ll have the opportunity to deal with the issue when you’re ready to.

It’s never about the symptom, illness, addiction, pain or presenting issue, it IS about the energy that created its manifestation.

How we act, feel and experience our lives is a reflection of what we believe. When we’re diagnosed with an illness, addiction, body syndrome, mental disorder, depression etc. we often start to believe it’s who we are and then our lives start to revolve around it “where attention goes, energy flows.” Also, when others around us find out about our symptom, they start to see and treat us as “the sick one.” Does this help, nope, it just locks us into it and the agreement we made to it. “Once you label me you negate me.”

It’s amazing to me how many people in our world are depressed and doctors just medicate them instead of looking for the root cause. Think about it “Depression” lack of expression, not only lack of expression, but a disconnection from our true selves or perhaps we have energy stuck inside of us from a traumatic experience that we didn’t know how to deal with at the time. We’ve become fragmented, only allowing the parts that are “accepted” to be seen and pushing aside or trying to numb the ones that we don’t want to feel or that we think are unacceptable. Doing this causes inner conflict and most often what, yep you guessed it; depression and/or some kind of symptom in our bodies.

By doing the inner work we’re able to discover what’s really going on and notice the root cause of the behavior/symptom/illness. Our psyches are very smart, they want us to BE whole and live in alignment with who we truly are and will do anything to get our attention whenever we get off track or whenever we deny an aspect of ourselves that’s asking to be embraced, LOVED, healed and integrated. So, in essence, any symptom, illness, addiction, disease etc. are catalysts helping us to see where we’ve become fragmented and/or have detoured from our truth. By calling back and embracing the parts of ourselves that we disowned or denied and bringing compassion, LOVE, forgiveness, a new perception and understanding to them, a loving integration naturally takes place.

Many people are hypnotized to believe that if they show all parts of themselves then they won’t be accepted or they’ll attract the “negative” if they share that they’re feeling “bad.” Fricken eh, what kind of world are we living in? A world of fear and supression, people wearing masks and trying to look good but feeling bad, anxious and fearful inside. Or trying to be someone they’re not just to be loved, approved of, have friends or a lover and becoming addicts of some sort because they’re feeling an inner conflict and they don’t know how to deal with it.

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If you’re like me, you were taught what you could and couldn’t do, and to this I say “according to who?” We were also taught how to think, act and feel and we gave our power to outside authority instead of making our inner BEing our priority. By listening to others and believing what they say, we often suppress our natural talents and gifts and we go about the journey feeling confused or depressed because we’re not allowing our true selves to be expressed. Most parents have good intentions, mine did too, however, we’re not here to follow the clan, if we were, expansion wouldn’t happen, get it?

We came here to break the mold and question everything that we were told. We came here to think for ourselves and shine in our unique way and in order to do this we need to follow our spirit and what it wants to do and say. Even if it’s sounds crazy to others, who fricken cares, the key is to be our own loving father and mother. The world teaches us to seek fortune and fame, to “be someone” in this earthly game. YOU are someone, you’re A Beautiful expression of the Divine. No amount of money, success, status or things make you any better or worse, we are all equally valuable and have great worth. So, to this I say, instead of comparing yourself to others and chasing after fortune, fame, people and things, chase after alignment with your inner BEing. This is where true happiness and LOVE resides, everything else is s bonus on this earthly ride.

Now, am I saying that I have the answers for you, heck no, you have your own inner BEing to listen to. I’m sharing my personal experience of how I’ve been able to set myself free and assist others in doing the same. I LOVE my journey and everything that I’ve been through, I’m grateful for the lessons that I’ve learned and continue to learn. I needed to go through the most difficult experiences so I could understand it, change the system and help others be free from the worldly fear and allow their true selves to guide and steer.

Now you might be asking “what do you mean by being free?” That’s a great question. Take a moment right now and think about your life, go ahead. Do you feel that you can share openly and honestly about anything you’re experiencing or want to express, or do you hold back in fear of what others might think of you? Are you creating your life around what really matters to you, or are you living in a way that you think others will approve of you or how your parents told you that you should be? Are you willing to honor how you feel and your point of view even if others don’t agree with you? Are you willing to bring forth new information that sounds ridiculous to your family and friends but is working for you and might benefit others too? Are you willing to break free and live differently from what you see in society? Are you doing what you LOVE and loving what you do and letting your uniqueness shine through? Do you feel that you need to brag about what you’re doing or how much you’ve achieved in order to look good, be accepted or prove that you’re great, or do you care whether people know or not and you do it just because it makes you happy inside? These are just a few questions to ponder, go ahead and let your mind wonder.

Self awareness is the key if you really want to be happy and free. By taking a step back and seeing how you’re living, you can get a better understanding of whether you’re living in alignment with your inner BEing or your conditioning and the hypnosis of the ego and the world.

I know, most of what I’m sharing sounds simple right, and it is, however it’s a process and it can be challenging if you’re not comfortable with feeling your feelings. It does take doing the inner work and lots of LOVE, compassion and courage if you really want to BE free. Think of a tootsie pop, there’s a hard candy shell around the soft chewy center. That’s pretty much how we are. The hard shell is all of the things that we took on from others that don’t belong to us and we’re the soft center. Lick by lick, removing the layers of fear and conditioning and taking back our power, eventually we get to the center of our BEing. This is where true freedom resides and when we’re living in this space, life becomes a glorious ride. Most often the depression or symptoms will naturally go away once we LOVE, honor and value ourselves and our life experience in this earthly.

When we express from our inner BEing it truly is a beautiful thing, it’s what we came here to do, no one is exactly like me or you. We each have our unique part to play and the only way to know what it is to remove the doubt, worry and fear and allow our true selves to guide and steer.

This is a process, be easy on you, the best gift that you can give to yourself and the world is the gift of YOU. Take back your power and become you’re own authority, I give you permission to make yourSELF a priority. Take some time and be with yourself today and notice what you’re creating in this earthly play. Are you feeling joy and excitement, do you feel like you’re living in alignment with your Divine assignment? Or are you caught in worry and fear, if you are, it’s okay my child my dear. Awareness is always the first step, just LOVE that part of you and thank it for giving you some clues. Clues to where you gave your power away, where you stopped listening to what your inner BEing had to say. Make friends with this part of you and ask it what it needs in order for you to BE happy and free.