Do you base your value on your looks or what you have? I think most of us do, I did too. We’re taught that we’re “important and lovable” if we’re beautiful, have an amazing body or if we have a lot of success, fame or fortune. All these outer reasons often keeps us from getting to know who we truly are.

If ya look at most of the child actors, once they grow up they often turn to drugs or alcohol and some even take their lives. It’s a dangerous idea to become attached to an identity, what we do, what we look like or what we have. These things come and go, what stays with us is our inner glow.

In 2010 I was inspired to cut off all my hair. I was tired of focusing so much energy on my looks and I wanted to see how I felt when I changed in a way that was pretty drastic for me. I also had a hard time believing that people loved me for me, I believed that they loved me because of my looks. What a great reflection of how I was feeling about myself eh?

I also didn’t know how to set clear boundaries with people who were sexually attracted to me, so I used my body in a way to speak for me by being anorexic. Weighing 80 pounds I wasn’t as beautiful and it kept me “safe.” Hence why every time I gained weight, I lost it again because when I gained weight, I was attractive and yep, I attracted relationships where I felt frightened to honor myself. So, instead of speaking up, I used my body to speak for me. This cycle went on for over 23 years until I learned how to speak instead of using self destructive ways and hurting my body to speak for me.

I think as we get older our ideas about ourselves start to shift inside, at least they have for me, however, I’ve also done a lot of healing. Wouldn’t it be great if we just decided, “Hey, I’m going to choose a new way of BEing” and it happens? For some this might work, for me, that was the first step. I had to go deeper inside to see how the ways that I was living was serving me in some way and find new healthy ways to get my needs met. Of course, Loving and accepting myself unconditionally was a big part of this as well. There’s so much more going on behind the surface issue. It’s rarely about what we think it is, the presenting “problem.” I’m always amazed at what comes forth when I go to the root of the issues with myself and with my clients.

Let me give ya an example; I shared about having anorexia above. Now, that was the symptom, it was the surface issue of something or may I say many things that were going on deep inside of me, it was how my ideas and beliefs we’re being played out in the physical form. Just putting weight on me didn’t do it, in fact doing that without doing the inner work just prolonged my healing and made me feel even more hopeless. Every time I left a treatment center or hospital after gaining weight, everyone thought I was “cured.” However, eventually I would lose weight again, it was the only way I felt “safe” in the world. Why didn’t I feel safe in the world? Because I didn’t feel safe with myself. I was self destructive, I starved myself and polluted my mind and body with negative self talk. And when I went deeper into the core belief, I found that “I don’t deserve to live” was the driver of my life. This belief was the filter I was looking through and how I was creating my life experience.

The way I started to feel safe with myself and eventually in the world was by loving myself and allowing myself to feel what I was feeling. By comforting myself when I was feeling bad or sad instead of running from myself or looking for someone to comfort me. Just a side note, it’s okay to get support from others, but if we’re doing it to escape loving ourselves we’ll never learn how to be with ourselves and will continue to look for others to fill a void that can really only be filled by our own love.

I was determined to “heal” and I would do anything, so I became very self aware of how I was creating my life by noticing when I was thinking, speaking or acting in self destructive ways and shifting it to more loving and gentle ways of BEing with myself. I don’t have it perfect today, however, I do have a pretty great LOVE affair with myself.
Specifically those with indications only extending for several days, online levitra it is not easy to tell whether something is wrong because the syndrome can easily span for many years.

So, if you’re someone who’s basing your happiness, security or value on people, places, things, your looks or situations in your life or you’re hiding, numbing out or escaping through drugs, alcohol, eating etc, I invite you to notice how you would feel if those things weren’t there. I often hear this statement “Who would you BE without your story?” Let’s look at it this way; “Who would you be without your things, your appearance, your job, your addiction etc?”

The key to healing is understanding what’s underneath our symptoms and behaviors, the driving energy. Even though 2 people have the same behavior/addiction they have different reasons why they do it. When I was in treatment for anorexia, there was a generalization of “why” people get anorexia and I was told by many doctors and my family, “you do this because of this.” I remember my Father reading a book and in the book it said that people with anorexia were molested. He came into my room and asked me “who did it?” Fricken eh, let’s instill something in me that I had no idea of what he was talking about. He went through a list of people with me to try to find out “who did it,” he wanted to blame someone for my condition.

I see this happening a lot in the world as well. Yes, there’s such a thing called “cause and effect” so we search for the cause, the guilty party where we can blame someone or something for what happened or is happening. I do believe in going to the root cause and we have to be careful about using our human logic to discover what that may be. With a relaxed mind and body, we can enter our memory bank which holds everything we’ve ever seen, heard, experienced and tasted from this life and our previous lives. Sometimes things aren’t meant for us to remember, so don’t force it. All we really have to do is feel into the experience/symptom we’re having and have it reveal it’s purpose to us.

Here’s something for ya to ponder, are ya ready? Are you only happy when things go your way or are you able to be happy even when things don’t go your way? There’s always something we can learn in every situation, once we let go of patterns of habituation we can see the meaning that life is showing us. Most often we’re not open to it because we’re seeing through a filter of a core belief like I shared above. This is why I say in many of my posts and I will say it again, “Only by doing the inner work will you truly BE free.” Once you do the inner work by questioning your conditioning so you can align with your inner BEIng, what’s meant for you will naturally appear and the beauty of this is that you’re letting your true Self guide and steer. What a fricken amazing way to live eh? I think so anyway.
So, alignment first, this is how we quench our thirst. Once we’re no longer thirsty, we’re okay no matter what happens in our earthly play. Get it?

Once we’re living in alignment with our true selves, life becomes one big game of internal fortune and fame. Feeling our LOVE and light inside, makes life a glorious ride. Then from this space we can give our gifts, make powerful contributions to the world and experience true fulfillment.

May you choose to commit to BEing YOU and loving yourself all the way through.

You can do this, I believe in you and I LOVE YOU