Did you know that the root cause of suffering for many human beings is believing that something’s wrong with you and me?

Psychiatrists and therapists offices are filled with people who are carrying this “false belief” most often stemming from childhood experiences like trauma, hurt and pain, doctors labeling us with depression or anxiety or even people telling us this directly.

Sometimes we “inferred” this idea because of the ways we were treated and/or we didn’t get our physical or emotional needs met when we were children. Perhaps we were called selfish or bad because we “asked for too much” or we were told we couldn’t have what we wanted because we didn’t “earn or deserve it.”

Maybe we blamed ourselves for our parents fighting and/or their divorce or issues that were going on in our family and we believed it was “because of” you and me.

Our little minds made up conclusions and for some of us self abandonment became “the solution.” We did this because we thought there was something wrong with us, welcome suppression, people pleaser and “good little boy and girl.”

“I’ll be and do what you want me to, so I will be LOVED and accepted by you.” By doing this we hid our “truth” and we became a person others wanted us to. We also concluded that it wasn’t okay to feel how we were feeling, so we made sure we suppressed our feelings, especially those “forbidden ones.”

All these ways of being “disconnected us” from our authenticity and many of us live our whole lives according to how others told us we “needed” to be and we’re never truly happy.

We “needed” to do this because we believed it was “wrong” for us to be ourselves, and some of us “created” survival/coping mechanisms/symptoms like addictions, depression, eating disorders, anxiety or even illness in the body.

Now, we have more reasons to believe “we’re bad or wrong” because having these symptoms “proves it.” Welcome more self hatred, urrrghhh, now we’re living with a BIG inner debate. It becomes a no win situation and we “frantically” find ways to do “escapism.”

We split ourselves in two “I can only show the good me” and the good me is according to the rules of our family and society. “I can’t show the bad me” which are just parts of you and me that weren’t acceptable by our family or society. By doing this we never really experience inner peace; instead we become “fragmented beings.”

Welcome suppression, shame and shadow “hiding.” What’s that? Shadow hiding is denying or disowning parts of us that were “not allowed” to be seen, they got pushed down in our shadows and put in our “forbidden cage.”

Most people think our shadows carry our deep hurt and pain and that may be, but in our shadows also resides our authenticity, our lovability, our natural gifts, talents and abilities, our creativity and our greatest qualities

So, how does the idea that something’s wrong with us effect our lives? If we have this as our core belief, we may create symptoms like self sabotage, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness and the symptoms I mentioned above.

We filter our perceptions and points of views, thorough the ways we “feel” about ourselves and we let that feeling “create our reality” some people may call it a “core belief.”

We may deny our true desires and what really makes us happy; sometimes we’re doing this “unconsciously” however, it shows up as “procrastinating and/or self sabotaging or saying we don’t know what we like, what we want or how to play and have fun” because doing so “isn’t okay.”

We may have a hard time speaking our truth and asking for our needs in our relationship with our lover, friends or family; we’ve become people pleasing beings because self abandonment was what we “learned” we needed to do, in order to be “accepted and be a good person.”

We may try to suppress, deny or run away from any “negative, sad or unacceptable feelings” because we were told that we were bad or wrong for feeling how we were feeling. Doctors may give us medication to try to help us “cope” with our situations.

If shame is running in our system, we’ll never feel like a good enough person. We may even “feel like a failure” or unconsciously fail “to prove” there’s something wrong with me and you.

Or, we may do compensation, by trying to prove we’re good enough through “success, fame and accumulation” but deep inside we’re empty and not happy. Just an FYI, there’s nothing wrong with these things, however, it’s the energy behind what we’re doing that we need to pay attention to.

There are many ways this “false idea” plays out, especially in the energy of “fear and doubt.”

So, here’s a bit of what it was like for me, having this “false idea that there was something wrong with me” as my core belief. This belief was created from the messages I received and inferred when I was a little being; constantly being told that I was wrong, fat, ugly, stupid, selfish and that I asked for too much.

From my earliest memory I ate a lot, food “comforted and soothed me.” It gave me a way focus my energy, numb my painful feelings and “keep me safe” in an environment that I was “not accepted.”

Then at age 13 my doctor told me to go on a diet, and at age 15 I was anorexic. “Now, I really must be wrong and bad, now my doctor’s telling me this.”

The anorexia was a symptom stemming from the feeling and belief that “I” was undeserving, bad and wrong and needing to be a certain way “deprive myself” in order to be accepted and LOVED, kinda screwy eh?
The condition of heartburn is clinically (levitra prescription) important site recognized as acid indigestion.

What most people don’t understand is that anorexia isn’t just about starving our body, we’re starving ourselves from living, it’s self denial, self abandonment and self abuse; the opposite of self honoring and self LOVEing.

I took on the ways my parents treated me and I became a my own mean parent. I beat myself up daily with negative self talk, cutting my wrists and face, bingeing and starving my body and exercising compulsively. I was also depressed, anxious and took sleeping pills to sleep through the day, what a life eh?

My system was now programmed to act in this way and when I tried to change, my “protector part” popped its head and said “hey.” I was a “slave” to this way of being stemming from the belief of “feeling like there was something wrong with me” going even deeper that “I” was bad and wrong, ouch eh?

I literally deprived myself of everything not just food, I didn’t allow myself to get close to others and I wasn’t “allowed” to buy myself anything; I basically lived in lack, limitation and fear daily. If I made money, it had to go into the bank and I made myself work and work to “prove” I was a “good girl.” I put myself in dangerous situations with abusive relationships and walking alone in dangerous places late at night, because I didn’t value myself or my life.

I was living in a trance and no one was able to help me change. Even after going in and out of numerous hospitals and treatment centers and seeing therapists for over 23 years I still lived with an “internal war.” I held on tight to the ways harmful ways I was living, because “I believed” I deserved to be treated that way; it was how I learned to “cope and survive” pretty sad eh?

But our psychies don’t care about how we get our needs, it does anything to “keep us safe.” For me, I “needed” to do self deprivation, that made me a “good girl.” I had to act in accordance to what I was told “that I was wrong, bad and selfish” get it?

So, how did things finally change? How did I get to where I am today? I finally took my healing into my own hands and found myself on a “spiritual path.” It wasn’t until everyone gave up on me and my body starting really deteriorating, that I was determined to learn self acceptance, self honoring and self LOVEing.

It was a process, I read many “self help books” but most of them only worked on the “conscious level.” It was like I was “fighting against” my own biology, consciously trying to change, but my energy patterning was saying “no way.”

It wasn’t until I went into the root cause, where I was “carrying this energy internally” and shifted that “patterning” of how the energy was flowing in my body with compassion, LOVE and a true understanding, this is when things started changing and I started feeling comfortable being true to me and living in my body.

By going to the root cause, which was where this all started when I was younger, I made contact with my inner child who was really hurting and crying out for LOVEing.

My sweet little Debra was so afraid and she didn’t feel safe because no one ever comforted her or let her know that “she was okay.” She wanted/needed to know that she wasn’t bad or wrong and that it’s okay for her to “come out” and play; that she’s now LOVED, accepted, appreciated and safe.

This was a process, she was very hurt and angry, and it took awhile for her to trust me. However, I stayed with it and bit by bit I started feeling at peace internally through a “loving integrating” self LOVEing and self accepting.

What if instead of giving someone medication for anxiety and depression, we gave them the prescription “that there’s nothing wrong with them?”

What if we helped them peel away the layers of conditioning, helped them heal the unresolved issues they’re carrying from past experiences along the way, and we gave them permission to LOVE and honor themselves, embrace their authenticity and offered them tools to help them face life when things get challenging?

What if we stopped judging ourselves and making ourselves bad or wrong for who we be and instead and we LOVED and accepted ourselves unconditionally; those parts that weren’t/aren’t accepted by our family and/or society?

What if we saw our “shame, insecurities and fear of being seen” as parts of us asking for compassion, forgiveness, unconditional acceptance and LOVEing?

What if we saw our “flaws” as beautiful and valuable aspects of you and me, and we started finding approval for those parts of us that were “unaccepted by society?”

What if we moved from self judging into compassion and self LOVEing and we allowed ourselves to feel however we’re feeling?

What if we took a deep breath and moved into our heart and asked ourselves “What do I want for me? What makes me truly happy? How can I live more authentically?

What if we made friends with ourselves in a way, that we feel at ease throughout the day. Where we no longer “try so hard” to be “someone acceptable” and instead we allowed our creative and unique expression for flow.

What if we were more kind and gentle with ourselves on our journey and we gave ourselves the grace of healing, learning and growing?

There “hopefully” comes a time that we see that we no longer need to “fix” ourselves to be a certain way, so we’ll be accepted by others in this earthly play. And instead, we allow ourselves to be who we BE, we LOVE and accept ourselves unconditionally and change if we want to, not because we think there’s something wrong with me and you.