Have you ever given up on a dream, a goal or a desire? I sure have, plenty of times, even though my heart was saying “Yes, this is for you.” As I moved towards them, things started coming up for me like my insecurities, doubt, fear of judgment, fear of success, fear of failure etc. I think you get the gist eh?

Why am I writing this post today? To inspire you NOT to give up. Anytime we move towards our dreams and goals it will bring to the surface what isn’t in alignment with who we’re becoming and what were wanting to bring about. As you probably know, it’s important to look at the beliefs we hold, what we learned, what we were told and what past experiences are filtering our point of view today. What the meanings we’re giving to how we’re living? What’s the fear, insecurity or doubt really about?

Well, one thing I’ve recognized from my own healing and in the clients I assist is……are ya ready? Underneath all of this is fear of change. What? Yes, keep reading and I’ll share with you my perception. Why is change so scary? We’ve gotten accustomed to living and being a certain way, it’s how we’ve found “safety” in the world. To go beyond that or try something new at the beginning might be scary because it’s unfamiliar. Often we become a little disoriented until we get oriented with the new way of BEing and instead of staying with it until we get oriented we run back to what’s familiar.

Here’s an example from my personal life experience. I was consumed with an eating/exercising routine for over 23 years. Whenever I ate something, I got anxious and to deal with that anxiety I exercised all day long. The more I did it, the more engrained it became. This consumed my life and I felt panic at the thought of anything interfering. If I couldn’t exercise (especially after I ate) my body would sweat, my heart would race and all I could think about was dying. This might be a little extreme for many, however, this was what I experienced.

How I started to really heal was by letting myself feel all of my emotions; which wasn’t easy, but necessary in order for me to be free. Why wasn’t it easy, I had 40 years of suppressed emotions that I didn’t let myself feel, 40 years of pain, sadness, anger and fear. I cried, I screamed, I hit pillows, my body shaked, I sweated and my heart raced like I shared above. That energy was stuck inside of me and until I was willing to release it, it would keep me from changing and moving froward.

It didn’t happen over night, but soon enough I was able to feel more relaxed after I ate and throughout the day. Now my energy flows more freely through my body and it’s easy for me to express what I want to express and go with the flow as I continue to learn, expand and grow.

As I moved into the anxious feeling I discovered that I was frighted of change, not only frightened of change, but what I perceived change meant to me. I found that my eating disorder served a purpose in my life and to change I would lose all the benefits it gave me. What were the benefits you might ask? I got attention from my family, it wasn’t always positive, but hey, at least I was being acknowledged. It was a way I numbed my feelings of loneliness, doubt, worry, fear and not feeling good enough. It helped me stay small and if I stayed small I wouldn’t be criticized of being selfish and taking up too much space. I was being taken care and this gave me a feeling of being LOVED. There are many other reasons why I held on so tight and all these reasons were hiding behind the eating disorder at a deeper level of my being and I felt I would lose everything i was getting if I changed. This wasn’t conscious to me until I moved the feeling and let it speak.
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Until we allow ourselves to feel, we won’t understand our unconscious deals. Trying to figure things out with our logic and reason, might bring about feelings that are pleasing. But logic and reason keeps things at a surface level and we never really get to know what’s going on that’s really creating our lives.

Whenever we’re in fear (not real danger) we’re just bumping up against a limitation in our mind, a belief, a perception that’s coming up to be felt, healed, shifted and integrated, it wouldn’t be present if you weren’t ready. If you have a dream, most often it’s bigger then who you are today and the things you’ve done. The seed has been planted and now you get to water it, nurture it, weed out the stuff that’s in the way so it can manifest in your earthly play.

So, if you’re resonating with the idea that fear of change might be the issue here, could you see how this awareness can help you? Know that your dreams and goals are going to bring about change; breathe, you’re okay, it’s why we’re here. If everything we experience is determined by what we say it means, well, how about saying “I LOVE change, I get to find out something more about myself, my abilities, my strengths, what I like and what i don’t like,I get to meet new people, expand beyond what I know, how fun, I can handle it, I am safe and I AM LOVED.” By focusing on what we’ll gain instead of what we’ll lose, then hey, I believe change is what we’ll choose. Create an emotional connection to WHY you want to change, write out what you want, why you want it and read it everyday.

When fear arises it’s just because we’re stepping into the unknown/uncertainty. But really, we don’t know what will happen, sometimes we think we do or we create it by what we’re focusing on. Do you trust that your higher self wants the best for you? Do you trust that you’re here to learn, grow and expand into more of who you truly are? Do you want to?

Ya, I know, sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t. Once you get in the flow and the momentum starts rolling and you’re willing to deal with the challenges as (if) they arise, you’ll enjoy your life more. You’ve been given a dream, a vision, a goal for a reason, it’s meant for you, it’s to help you learn, grow, expand, BE more of who you truly are. Perhaps your dream is make a meaningful contribution to the world, you’re a game changer. Whatever your dream is, it’s right for you, keep on keeping on, move through the doubt so your dream can come about. The most successful people had challenges but they didn’t give up, they were more focused on where they were going and what they wanted to achieve. Don’t shrink back my LOVES, it’s time to play bigger, it’s time for you to stretch beyond what you know and who you are today and allow new things to come your way.

You can do this, I believe in you and I LOVE YOU.