Feeling Different
“Why do I feel so different from others?” Have you ever had that thought? I’ve felt like this my whole life, however, today I embrace the outer uniqueness in all of us, knowing that we’re all made of the same Loving energy inside. I didn’t always though, from my earliest memory I felt that I was wrong, that I was in the wrong body, that I expressed myself wrong, that I did everything wrong.
Why am I sharing this today you might be thinking? Well, it’s Gay pride weekend in Los Angeles and so many people who are gay are frightened to show it and some even take their lives. I’ve had a few suicide attempts as well, I didn’t know how to cope with how I was feeling and I was scared to tell anyone. I finally shared my feelings about my attraction to women for the first time when I was 21 years old and was in rehab for an eating disorder. I got a lot of support from the other patients which was really helpful for me. My family, well that was a different story, but I’m okay with it.
In actuality, it wasn’t about my sexuality, it was that I didn’t LOVE myself. I could blame the ways that I felt about this on my sexuality or I could start to LOVE and embrace all of me, which I did. It’s not about who I’m sleeping with or not sleeping with, it’s about BEing at peace inside and loving myself on this earthly ride.
I think this is a big one for many of us as we want to “be liked” by “others” but if we’re not liking ourselves, it doesn’t matter how many people are liking us. Since every relationship we have reflects our relationship with ourselves, hey, guess what the most important relationship is…… Yep, you guessed it, your relationship with YOU.
Is there something that you have a hard time accepting about yourself in fear of what others might think? Do you hide from letting others see WHO you are inside? Do you hold back on expressing yourself and you’ve put your gifts and talents on the shelf? If you have, that’s okay, but know you can be free today. You can be free to LOVE all of you and make LOVE for yourself BE what you now choose. You can share in your unique way, that’ really why we came to this earthly play.
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I know, sounds simple right, and it is, it just takes questioning our conditioning and aligning with the truth of our inner BEing. It’s becoming our own best friend and allowing ourselves to heal and mend. It’s calling back the parts we shoved away and inviting them back to dance and play.
Perhaps this may be easy and might not, it all depends on what you were taught. If you’re like me, you were taught that it wasn’t okay, to BE yourself. That you had to hide the parts of yourself that weren’t acceptable to others, just so you could be loved by your father and mother. By doing this, we struggle with life, because we have a strong internal fight. For me, it’s been process and not easy at times, as loving myself felt like a crime. Two steps forward and one step back was how I started changing the “facts.”
I’m grateful for everything I’ve been through, because of it i have so much LOVE for me and you. By doing the inner work I’ve set myself free and now I’m enjoying each day on this wonderful journey. My wish for you is that you too feel LOVED all the way through. That you honor yourself in every way and you let yourSelf be seen today. That you make peace with all parts of you and you enjoy everything that you do.
You can do this, I’m over here cheering ya on, I give you permission to sing to the beat of your heartfelt song. To set yourSELF free and live in alignment with who you were created to BE.
Awakening To Unconditional Love:
Transformational Healing
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Poetic Healing
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I AM LOVED SHIRTS
_____________________________________Debra’s Blog
- How to Connect With Your Truth
- How to Experience True Healing
- Waking up to your authentic expression, a poem written through me
- How To Heal From People Pleasing
- Is the pain of the past keeping you from living freely, loving openly and enjoying your life journey?
- Do You Struggle With An Eating Disorder(s)?