Anorexia, bulimia, compulsive eating and compulsive exercise, are these friends or enemies? Some might say an enemy, but if that we’re true, why would we hold on so tight?

At age 14 I was diagnosed with anorexia and bulimarexia and at age 15 I entered my first treatment center weighing 80 pounds. For the next 23 years of my life, I was in and out of numerous hospitals and treatments centers hating myself, hating life, struggling inside and I had many attempts at suicide.

After having no success in changing and everyone giving up on me, I finally took my healing into my own hands and found myself on a spiritual journey. Was it easy? “Heck no.” Was it worth it? YES! 

I cried, I screamed, I sweated, I observed the lies and I brought LOVE to the parts that were hurting inside. I learned how to BE with myself in loving ways, so I no longer needed an eating disorder or exercise to numb the judgment, hurt and pain. I began to make more conscious choices, instead of following the dictates of the eating disorder/hurtful voices. 

What makes someone like me behave the ways that we do? When we’re in it, it seems like it’s the only way, we go unconscious and let our automatic responses control our day. It’s easier then facing life, the pain inside and even our light, but is it really?

So in a sense, these symptoms become our protector/friend and in a sense they’re an enemy too, that’s hurting me and you. It gives us a “reason” to hate ourselves even more and then we reach for something to numb the ways we’re feeling. 

Maybe we feel that we deserve to be punished and we act out in self hate and this comes from an inner debate and misunderstandings that we picked up along the way. 

An eating disorder is a symptom that something isn’t right internally, until we see what’s driving our behaviors and how they’ve become our savior/our protector, we’ll never truly BE free. There’s always a positive reason why we do what we do, the key is to find healthier ways to get our needs met today. 

Learning how to LOVE ourselves unconditionally and be with ourselves in loving ways is the key. This is something many of us weren’t taught to do, because loving ourselves was selfish and wrong, we needed to be and do what others wanted us to, so we’d be loved and accepted.

Healing from an eating disorder goes way beyond the food, it’s going to the “root” that’s creating the “fruit” loving that part of me and you and shifting our point of view so more LOVE, peace, abundance and happiness can flow through.

It’s learning that we’re okay, no matter what others say and what’s happening in our earthly play.

It’s being willing to be uncomfortable and listening to the messages our feelings are revealing.

It’s noticing our self talk, how we’re creating our reality through what we’re saying things mean and how we’re feeling and shifting anything that isn’t loving.
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It’s learning how to accept life, others and ourselves unconditionally, it’s learning how to let ourselves BE and honoring our authenticity.

It’s seeing ourselves through loving eyes, instead of from the hurt and pain inside.

It’s honoring our path, being open to learning the lessons at hand, instead of running from ourselves and trying to escape what we don’t want to face.

It’s trusting that where we are today, is perfect for us in every way.

It’s having compassion for the little one inside, who bought into the misunderstanding that it’s not okay for us to BE the person we were created to BE.

It’s trusting the process and doing the best we know how, it’s healing the past so we can live in the now.

It’s living from our heart and soul, feeling the radiance of our inner glow and allowing ourselves to enjoy this earthly show.

It’s knowing that we’re not just good enough, it’s knowing WHO we are, beautiful, AMAZING and powerful super STARS.

It’s knowing that everything we’re going through and everything we’ve been through IS serving me and you and IS part of our souls growth and learning in earth school.

If you’re someone who’s struggling with an eating disorder today, I’m sending lots of LOVE your way. You CAN experience a different way of BEing, where peace, LOVE, joy and harmony is flowing naturally. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Loving you beautiful souls